It's funny how things spiral out of proportion. Well it's not that funny. In fact why did I say that? It's like when my Mum used to always say 'Best foot forward' when something went wrong or there was bad news. She even said it when they brought me home from hospital after my knee operations.
Well I digress, as usual. On Wednesday I managed to convince myself that there was a prowler in the garden and the back door was open. I'd just finished trying on everything in my wardrobe for a night on the town and my room looked like someone had bombed Abercrombie & Fitch. I heard a noise in the garden that sounded like someone had jumped over the fence onto the patio.
I froze by the bedroom door and for some strange reason decided the best course of action was to turn the light off and hide in the dark! I stood in my bedroom in pitch black for about half an hour trying to listen for movement in the house and sneaking looks through the blinds. The dog was in the hall but she's deaf and blind and probably wouldn't notice a gang of masked murderers with meat cleavers running through the house.....unless of course they had dog treats with them.
I crept around my room looking for a weapon. Finally got up the courage to venture out with a wooden coat hanger. Bet that would have scared the shit out of a burglar.
Moved down the hall into the kitchen like some teenage frat girl in Halloween 27 and reached the back door. Slammed it shut! Locked it! Phew! I wasn't the next to get bumped off........or was I!!!!
No sooner had I locked the door when I realised 'HE MIGHT BE IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!!' and broke out in a cold sweat and stubbed my toe on the Brabantia.
Just then I heard the noise again! Looked out the window and saw it was the shed door being caught by the wind.
What a Big Jessie!!!!! Mum used to say that too when I had her remove spiders from my room :-)
