Darnell started this week in philosophical mood by telling us how men always finish their meal at the table whereas women quite often sit down to eat knowing they won’t finish their dinner. It was an interesting analogy. It took Sara a while to realise he wasn’t actually talking about food.
Life in the house for dreary Nic didn’t improve this week. The first drama started on Day 75 when her boyfriend noticed she had a big hair growing down her bum crack. Not the sort of thing a young girl wants advertising on national TV. Mikey was not impressed with this revelation either and decided he didn’t want his dinner cooked by someone who’s had their hands down a bum hole. I don’t blame him really.
This year’s housemates are certainly scoring high on the Gross-o-meter. Craving another can of cheap cider drove Mo to eating one of Mikey’s bogeys. It was a big one too. I reckon it was a half chewed sprout from last week that had got lodged up there after his ordeal with a bucket of Brussels.
The Roman task was great. The housemates running around the garden in togas, being chased by killer wasps, was like something out of Carry On Cleo. All this scene lacked was Luke screaming ‘Infamy, infamy, they’ve all got it in for me’ and Becs as a nubile slave girl with her baps out. The housemates finally finished their masticated mosaics of Rex. Their artworks were interesting interpretations of Rex, ranging from ET in a pink hoodie to Ricky Hatton after a brutal left hook to the face.
We’ve really been spoiled with the tasks this year. The BB team have surpassed themselves. The Thriller debacle was hilarious. Rex struggled badly trying to choreograph the hapless housemates and he even tried getting rid of Mikey and Kat at one point to make sure they passed. This move backfired spectacularly and probably secured Nicole’s fate and she sulked and whinged with her boyfriend at the lesser mortal’s inability to follow their lead. I’m not surprised Mikey got frustrated. How the hell was he supposed to follow directions like ‘This way. That way. Do this’?
The final performance was another BB classic. Nicole’s pointy features and stiff dancing was like watching Pinnochio learning to walk without his strings. Lisa looked like Norman Bate’s mother and Mikey just did his own thing at the back like a demented runner bean. Big Brother had to let the pass. It was genius.
No surprise that nasty Nic was booted out this week but 94% of the vote in a 3-way eviction was pretty spectacular. Her reception from the crowd was hideous but she put on a brave face and a dress that looked like a toilet roll holder. There was a bit of a quivering lip as Davina hauled her through the baying crowd. The realization of how awful her relationship is with Rex seemed to dawn on her mid-way through her interview. Her best bits were mostly crying, moaning and backing away from her over-bearing boyfriend. I felt a bit sorry for her to be honest. I hope she dumps Rex as soon as she’s made a few quid from Heat magazine.
Now you know I’m a huge fan of Davina and she’s looked fit and fab every Friday…..so far. What the hell was wardrobe thinking this week? That outfit was awful. All she needed was a tartan bonnet and the 'Supergran in leggings' look would have been complete.
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