The Rooster Has Landed

Davina announced the return of the chickens on launch night. Friday we got a cockerel too.

Whilst Charley was preening and flirting with herself in the mirror, a rooster in a 2 piece arrived in the coop to ruffle the feathers of the broody birds. Ziggy looked like a reject from Any Dream Will Do. He might not be Joseph but if The Blues Brothers ever reform as a boy band he could be in with a chance.

Ziggy is a strange name if you’re not a puppet or a soft toy but it didn’t seem to bother the chirpy chicks. They surrounded him in an instant and flapped and puffed up their various chests. Charley checked herself in the mirror again and Chanelle fiddled with her fillets. Tracy was bemused. She thought he was a waiter. Does she think they’re in the Borehamwood Travel Lodge I wonder?

Everyone seemed cock-a-hoop at the new eye candy. Everyone except Lesley, that is. The bossy bantam didn’t take to this young leghorn ousting her from the prime perch. There were tears and tantrums and she even tried waving a banana around in attempt to maintain her position in the pecking order. It was all in vain as he slipped under her single duvet and under the skin of a certain Posh Spice doppelganger.

The twittering twins still seem to be talking a different language to everyone else. I think Channel 4 should provide subtitles for those of us who never took a GCSE in squealing.

I’m really worried about Carole. I’m not sure she’s built for mangling. Every time she bends forward and cranks that handle I think she’s going to flatten those ample bosoms.

In between checking herself in the mirror at every opportunity Charley is making enemies in and out of the house due to her constant bitching, boasting and bubbling. Who knew that it was Charley that invented going out on a Sunday instead of a Saturday? Oh and I bet you never knew that skinny jean were the brainchild of our Emily.

Who says Big Brother isn’t educational?